Own It

I recently caught up on Schitt’s Creek. For those of you who haven’t seen it (and I highly recommend you do!), here’s a quick summary: a very wealthy family loses everything due to [intentional] errors from their business manager. They move to a small town called Schitt’s Creek that they bought as a joke years before. They experience a variety of quirky events and learn how to be a family.

One of the greatest storylines that I honestly feel is underplayed is the relationship between David and Alexis (siblings). Though they argue and tease, their appreciation for each other runs deep. In one scene in particular, David calls out Alexis, claiming that her whole life has been easy, saying that she just “skates through life.”

She responds, “No I don’t. I walk through life in great shoes.”

This whole interaction was amazing. Not only was it incredibly funny and touching, but it also served as a great reminder of the impact a single person can have on you.

Look at David’s statement: “you skate through life.” In his mind, his sister had it easy. She never had to work hard, never had to figure things out for herself to make a situation better. He felt the responsibility was always on him. He represents the external view – what others see and think of us.

Alexis’ response is a very strong and productive internal view. She is so confident and sure of who she is that she knows how life really is for her and owns it. She takes what comes her way and does what she needs to with it to continue living her life according to her terms. She knows how to make the proverbial lemonade out of lemons. And perhaps the most important part of this exchange? She was not swayed by his comments. She answered him confidently and moved on.

Just imagine if we could be this way with ourselves. Unphased by what others think of us. Unphased by who the world tells us we need to be, how we need to think, how we should live. Imagine if you could confidently own your life. I like the phrase “personal philosophy” that Psychologist Michael Gervais wrote about in Harvard Business Review. He explained, “Most of us go through life with a general sense of who we are, and, in a lot of circumstances, that’s enough. We get by. But if you want to be your best while being less fearful of people’s opinions, you need to develop a stronger and much deeper sense of who you are.”

Take Action
Our mission in 2020 is to gain clarity about who we are and what we want our life to be like. Take some time this week to really challenge yourself to define who you are. What are your greatest likes? Dislikes? What is one thing you are most confident doing? Why?

Start to build a clearer picture of who you are. Get to know the real you. And own it.

By Kristin Allaben

Consider reading The Year to Get Clear

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