How to Rally in Tough Times

There are some events in life that seem to knock the wind out of us. Things like a bad performance review at work or an unexpected job termination. Things like a foreclosure, a divorce or a tough diagnosis. These events feel personal. When they happen, we feel like we have been punched in the gut.

But, as the sun rises each day, we must also rise up and keep moving, regardless of how we feel. As we have seen throughout the pandemic, those who succeed are the ones who learn how to develop the stamina to deal head-on with what life sends and the grit to find a solution, even in the toughest of times. They rally because they know how to move past the challenges and see the opportunities. This empowers and engages them to keep moving forward.

As a Coach, I regularly engage with clients who are trying to reconnect to their mojo – to rally in tough times. Here is some of the advice and guidance I share.

Shift your attitude to one that is about rebounding and taking action. Regardless of how it feels, remember that tough times are not personal. Life doesn’t have you in its crosshairs; it is what it is. This is an important realization to be able to move past the feeling of being a victim and start to identify your feelings. Why do you feel the way you do? Try saying it out loud to help you better understand it. Feelings inspire your attitude, which then affects your thoughts and actions, so make time to understand and acknowledge your feelings to be able to move past them. Once you’re clear about what you are feeling, check in on your attitude. Optimistic attitudes create the space to feel energized to deal with what needs to be done. Pessimistic attitudes just hold you back. Shifting your attitude to something more productive will help you refocus your thoughts and actions to things that are more productive.

Refocus on the goal. Now with a more positive attitude, refocus or recommit to the goal. Clarity about what you want and need to achieve can inspire you to get back up and keep moving. See the value in your goal. Imagine what it will feel like when it is achieved and use this energy to get excited and rally.

Engage your support network. Since life and work are tough, develop and rely on your support network to help you manage your attitude, to see things clearly and support you as you work to make things happen. The phrase, “none of us is as smart as all of us,” should serve as a reminder to you to engage with others to solicit ideas and new approaches. Your support network will be more inclined to support and help the optimistic version of you instead of the complaining, pessimistic you.

Take Action
On its best day, life and work are tough, even if we love what we do. Things happen that seem to sucker punch us or knock us down. It is in these exact moments that call on you to see that you have what it takes to understand, direct and respond in a way that makes the best out of what is happening. Stamina and grit are needed in today’s world. They are success skills.

Tune in to your feelings. Understand them. Shift your attitude to one that will support you. Get refocused on what you are trying to achieve and then engage others to help you rally and get back in the game. Then, as life sends other sucker punches (and it will), you will be more aware that you have what it takes to rally and persevere.

Life

When the Glass is Half Empty

Kristin Allaben
October 17, 2019
Attitude, awareness, Glass Half Full, life, Positive

Sometimes, it’s human nature to feel down. To feel off. To feel like things just aren’t right. And that’s ok! I actually have this great book I read to my boys called My Many Colored Days and it explains how there are some days you just feel different. And it’s not good or bad, right or wrong; it just happens.

(For the parents out there, I highly recommend this read for your kids. Not only does it help kids understand that it’s ok to feel something other than happy all the time, it also helps to put their mood swings into perspective for you, as well.)

But sometimes, those moods linger and can turn someone into a cynic – a Debbie Downer. It may drive some people away, or it can encourage some of the well-intentioned people in our lives to say things like, “be positive!” or “it’s time to see the glass half full.”

Yet, despite efforts to share positive or inspirational sayings, these Debbie Downers still exist. They always seem to always operate under the assumption that life is, at best, a glass-half-full situation.

It got me thinking recently about the idea of self-fulfilling behaviors, the idea that because you ruminate on a thought or issue, you seemingly will it to be true. I know a few people who are always trying to find the positive in what life presents, eager to push forward. I also know more than a few Debbie Downers who believe that life is never going to be any better than it is right now, that they’ve been dealt a bad hand, that life is out to get them.

For the former, they tend to find a way to make things work, to make things better, to make life what they want it to be. They don’t let the trials of life get them down. They don’t let themselves needlessly worry about things they can’t control.

For the latter, it becomes a game of “I told you. The bad luck finds me. This is what my life is like.” They are always worried, always critical, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. They feel they regularly earn their martyr status – constantly suffering or feeling that they are at the effect of things in work and life.

Consider this: life just happens – sometimes the events are great and sometimes they aren’t. That is just life doing what life does. Our false belief that life should always be happy comes from us thinking that life should always work out and make us happy.

But here’s the truth: the key to happiness is learning to make great things happen from what you get.

Life is what you make it. So is your glass half full or half empty? It is always your choice.

Take Action
When my Mom was a little girl, my grandfather used to tell her to “put your worries on the nightstand and go to sleep. They’ll be there in the morning; no use losing sleep over them.”

Imagine what life would be like if we put our worries on the nightstand at night, allowed ourselves to get some sleep, and woke up refreshed and renewed in the morning, ready to take on whatever life could bring. Imagine how changed you could be and how your changed behavior and attitude could impact those around you.

What if, just for a moment, you see the glass as half full?

By Kristin Allaben

Consider reading To Change a Habit, Try Something Different

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