Don’t Let the External Noise Interrupt Your Internal Quiet

Lately, I have gotten into yoga. The yoga class I like the most (because the instructor actually instructs those of us who are novices) is at a gym where the weight equipment is on the second floor and the yoga room is on the first floor. Throughout our yoga class, weights are dropped with booming resonance, sounding like thunder or explosions. Not a good environment for finding your Zen.

Or, perhaps, it serves as an important lesson.

During one of my yoga classes, a particularly loud boom jolted me from my mindful and peaceful place and abruptly pulled me back to the first floor at the gym. I could have been upset and frustrated at the interruption, but instead, it reminded me that life is full of noise.

The continual bing of the email or text notification, interrupting every moment of our days. The 24-hour news cycle that continually shares what is difficult, disappointing and dangerous in our world. The continual yack of people on cell phones, even in quiet places like a waiting room or a trail in a pristine grove of hemlocks.

When we are pushed and assaulted by the distractions and noise of our world, we get worn out. Notice how you interact with yourself and others when you are worn out. Generally, this isn’t your best.

Sometimes you can control the noise, but in most cases, you have to learn to create your own internal quiet oasis within the noise. Learning to be fully present in a noisy world is key to being happy and successful in that same noisy world. Those who meditate share that when you develop your practice, you can meditate in the peace and quiet on a beach or in the cacophony of a subway car.

Don’t let the external noise interrupt your internal quiet.

Finding your internal quiet gives us the ability to tune in to ourselves – to understand what we are feeling, thinking and experiencing. It is in this time that we better understand who we are so we can more calmly and wisely respond to our noisy and distracting world.

Let me show you what this looks like in a real-world example. Try this: memorize the following two lines while you have the television on or while you are watching a YouTube video: “Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment. This is how to show up to yourself and your world.”

 Did you find this easy? Challenging? For most people, I bet it was tough. Here’s why: your brain easily gets interrupted by external distractions and noise.

Now, create a space of quiet and calm. In that space, try to memorize the same two lines. You will likely be more successful at the task.

See the impact of creating quiet? Sure, sometimes you can remove yourself from the noise and be in a place that is literally quiet. But in most cases, you will have to create your place of quiet amid the noise. It will be up to you to find a way to get to your inner quiet, even when the world around you is loud.

So, whether it is weight-lifters dropping weights during a yoga class or the ever-present technology making sounds and recommendations to our thoughts and comments, our world is a distracting one. It is up to each of us to either turn down the noise or learn to tune it out. In the quiet moments is where we can process our feelings, our emotions, our thoughts and even our world, to wisely, deliberately and intentionally interact, not react, to it.

Take Action
Wherever you find yourself, take three breaths. Calm your body. Quiet your mind. Focus on something internally. Allow yourself to dwell on that – a feeling, a mantra, a kind thought, a wish or anything that is productive and happiness-based. In this way, and regardless of the noise and distractions around you, you can create an oasis of peace where you can calm yourself, manage your emotions and be present. From there, you can reach back out to that noisy world in a calmer, more intentional and a more mindful way.

By Jay Forte

Consider reading Small Steps are Key for Big Changes

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Ready or Not, 2021, Here We Come!

What. Was. That?

I think that’s the general sentiment about 2020 and we still have a few weeks to go. It has been a year no one will forget. Nothing went the way it was supposed to. Big goals were pushed aside while we tried to figure out how to just get the bare minimum done. Simple tasks, like going to the grocery store, required planning and significant mental awareness. And that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface.

Needless to say, I can’t tell you the number of people who have told me they’re planning something special (albeit with only their immediate family in attendance) to celebrate the end of this year. People who don’t usually celebrate the New Year are planning to celebrate this year. We can’t seem to get 2020 out of here fast enough.

But once it’s gone and we see “2021” as the calendar year, then what? What will you do differently? How can the toughest of years make you wiser, better, stronger and more focused?

Changing the calendar year is a start, for sure, a very strong mental one at that. But what will be different about 2021 for you other than it’s not 2020?

Before you say, “here I come, 2021!”, you need to create a solid foundation to be ready for the new year and all it will bring. Being comfortable dealing with change, redirecting anxiety and uncertainty to optimism and learning how to stay calm when presented with anything but a calm situation – all things 2020 challenged us with.

How can you do this? By working with a coach.

Working with a coach can help you get ready to make the most of 2021 in whatever way that looks for you. Through various tools, coaches help you better understand yourself and your situations, create achievable goals and navigate through the challenges and obstacles that stop you from achieving those goals. Whether the situation you’re facing is a personal one or professional, coaches help you discover, develop and live what is best in you, equipping you with exactly what you need to achieve the things that matter to you.

Here are 3 reasons why you should work with a coach to get ready for 2021:

1. What end is up? If you can confidently say you are more organized, more together and self-aware than ever before, congratulations! But for the majority of the public, 2020 was not so kind. Anxiety was through the roof. Uncertainty plagued even the most confident. Few are entering 2021 with their heads on [completely] straight. Working with a coach will help you get clear of your priorities, redefine goals and figure out where to start. After all, if you’re not sure where to start, how can you get going?

2. I will do / be XYZ. This year, most of us had to put aside big goals we wanted to achieve and instead focus on survival (literally and figuratively). In fact, a lot of parents have left the workforce to assist in childcare and remote learning because juggling the responsibilities of work and home (when everyone is always home) was becoming too challenging; you can’t give 100% in 5 directions all the time. At some point, something will fall. Working with a coach will help you revisit your goals and work on redefining and prioritizing them to make them actionable and achievable and, as a bonus, get and keep you motivated to do it. If you don’t have a goal, what direction are you moving in? And if you don’t have an accountability partner, how will you stay committed and on track?

3. Build (or rebuild) confidence, self-esteem and motivation. When you find yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in, especially when it’s out of your control, it can wreak havoc on your confidence and self-esteem. You question how you got there in the first place or how you let it get to the point it did. 2020 challenged everyone’s confidence. The parents who had family schedules perfectly planned and aligned were basically handed a blank calendar and told “try again.” The person working hard for the promotion they wanted found themselves challenged with just getting up in the morning to log in to work. The grandparents who want nothing more than to snuggle their grandkids having to settle for Zoom or Facetime and virtual hugs. It does a lot to the mind when everything you used to take for granted is pulled out from under you. Working with a coach will help you learn how to gracefully accept and navigate change – even the big changes that catch you off guard – and build (or rebuild) your confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and happiness so you can do and be better each day

Working with a coach creates time to focus on you. After all, there are many around you who need you to be calm, focused and present, each of which has been challenged by so many things this year. As you discover your strengths and liabilities, passions and triggers, you develop an inventory of abilities. Think of it like your toolbox; you have the right tools readily available to you to use in any situation that will make you feel confident, competent and capable.

The world is going to send what it is going to send. You can’t control that. What you can control is how you show up to what it sends. To do this in a successful way, you need to know and manage yourself, understand where you are and where you want to be, and, with guidance of a coach, bring all the pieces together to land on your feet and make the things that are important to you happen.

So, whether a parent, employee, manager, boss, spouse, partner or friend, engaging and working with a coach can help you show up more successfully by activating and using what is already great in you.

We can’t wait to work with you. Let’s make 2021 your year.

Take Action
When you take accountability for your life, you subconsciously take control. You decide what your life should look like, and you make it happen. You decide how you want to feel and you make it happen. You decide what you want and don’t want and make it real.

Be your best self in 2021. We’re ready to help.

By Kristin Allaben

Consider reading Reassess What’s Really Important

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