There’s a Fine Line

Most people know in the context of crazy and brilliance there is a fine line. A most brilliant idea when it crosses the line can become completely crazy.

As is the case in most everything, how you define the events in your life is entirely up to you. The same goes for the “fine line.” You decide what that fine line looks like, whether it’s specific to an event in your life or someone else’s.

I think this phrase can be applied in so many ways, but there’s one I specifically want to focus on: loyal vs. lazy.

Sometimes, you can find your life moving in a direction you know is not right for you. Maybe it’s your job, maybe it’s a relationship, maybe it’s something else. Regardless of the specific situation, you feel like you’ve lost control of what’s happening in your life.

When you find yourself asking “now what?,” what’s your response? Do you stand up and take charge? Or do you sit back and ask why the hard stuff in life seems to find you?

I believe there’s a fine line between loyal and lazy.

I’ve seen and heard more than a few examples in my life where someone used the excuse “well, she’s loyal so she won’t change anything” or “he’s lazy so he won’t make a change.”

The real question is when you notice that things in work or life are not working or feel quite right, what do you do? Do you refuse to change or improve things because you are loyal (seen as a virtue) or lazy (seen as a flaw)? Loyalty and laziness – both left unmanaged – can create negative consequences.

At some point, you have to take control of the direction of your life. If you’re not happy, ask yourself what you can do to make it better. If you’re not certain you’re moving down the right path, ask yourself what about your current direction doesn’t sit well with you.

Take Action
Take the time to get to know yourself. You’ll be less likely to confuse “lazy” with “loyal” and be more motivated and empowered to take control of your life. Check in on your motivation for the decisions you make. Are you hiding from or reluctant to make a difficult decision? Or, are you intentionally choosing to stay where you are because it is a better long-term solution? Only you will know, but be honest with yourself about what you choose and why. See things as they really are.

By Kristin Allaben

Consider reading The Year to Get Clear: What Do People Applaud Me For?

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Expect the Unexpected: What’s Your Plan B?

By Jay Forte

You have a plan. You did your work, but the results you wanted did not happen because something interrupted it. How do you feel about it? Frustrated? Annoyed? Able to shrug it off and try again?

I, like many people, can easily get upset and shift right into acting like a victim if things don’t go my way (think: “why does this always happen to me?”). Regardless of the situation – a new client that doesn’t materialize because of their budget restriction, a winter storm that delays or cancels my flight, an illness that makes me miss a well needed vacation – I have to remember that it’s just life. Despite your best intentions, there are too many variables in life that are out of your control.

But you can control your response. 

By learning to expect the unexpected, it helps you let life be as it is while you go along for the ride. This approach means you spend less time fighting what life sends you and more time understanding that life is fluid, and as such, you should be as well. Knowing this can help you relax more about life.

True, there are disappointments that happen when life doesn’t go as planned. But can you learn to accept life on life’s terms and to zig and zag as you keep moving forward? Yes. Can you learn to not take things so personally by realizing that you will never control every outside force in life? Absolutely.

By accepting that life’s formula is to expect the unexpected, you can tune in to life differently, be less stressed and less angry. Losing these negative emotions and energy makes life’s experiences more enjoyable because you are more optimistic. This, in turn, presents you with greater opportunities.

This improved outlook can help you see or create a plan B, move there calmly and continue to see life as amazing and remarkable.

I have finally learned to be ready with my Plan B so I can keep moving and not lose my stride when things don’t go as planned. This gives me peace of mind knowing I have other options if the first one doesn’t pan out. I don’t need to have a meltdown; I can sanely and calmly consider what to do next.

Life is not yours to control, but it is yours to engage with, accept and appreciate. Learning to expect the unexpected reminds you that you are not in charge of anything but your response to the events of life. Learn to roll with it, bounce back and expect you will sometimes need a Plan B.

Sometimes the Plan B can actually be better than your original plan.

Important Questions from a Coach:

  1. Where in life are you rigid and inflexible?
  2. What is one thing you can do today to be more adaptable in those areas?
  3. What event in your life can you develop a Plan B for in order to maintain a calmer and saner approach to life?

Consider reading The Energy Funnel Explained: Catabolic vs. Anabolic

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