There are so many places in life where we need to step out of where we are to do, say or be something more or different. When confronted with this exact situation, so many people back down. They turn away. They put up with a situation that needs a change. They settle.

I can do it positive message

Just imagine for a moment that you had an unlimited amount of courage. That this courage comes from deep in you and is available to you in any situation that you call for it. That this courage helps you say or do what you need to do with great respect and care for the other person or the other situation. That this courage is yours to claim and to use whenever and wherever you need it. Imagine that this courage helps you achieve the outcome you want.

With this image, do you now feel even just a bit more courageous?

I regularly share that the most wasted emotion is worry. To worry about things that may never happen ruins the current moment. To worry about things that do actually happen just wears you down and limits your success with the situation because you have used your energy to worry and have less available to respond.

And worry erodes our courage. When we focus instead on what our courage can create for us, we replace worry with possibility. Imagining a successful outcome to a problem or challenge empowers us to try when we may otherwise give up.

Life will always require you to tap into your courage. It is one of the abilities we all have, but one that most of us have not developed. It is there to help us through the situations that feel larger than we think we can handle. It is there to help us face challenges, obstacles and problems with the goal of helping us get to the other side and see how capable we are. In fact, the way to grow courage is to use it. The more you take that courageous first step to doing something difficult, the less self-talk you need to use to get yourself ready for the next one. Soon, you can confidently look at life’s situations and know that you have what it takes to figure them out and successfully deal with them.

Take Action
What is one thing that needs your courage to address, discuss or solve? Image yourself on the other side of it, having had success with it. Stay focused on this image. Now, what is the first thing you need to do to take action?

Remember this quote from A.A. Milne, “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and stronger that you think.” You are capable to create for yourself what you want and need at work and in life. Sometimes, it just takes courage to go get it.

By Jay Forte

Consider reading Be Someone’s Hero

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Give Me Clarity – and Courage

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Though this quote by Reinhold Niebuhr is used in both serious and funny scenarios, I think it perfectly sums up a good coaching session. Coaching is focused on guiding you to gain clarity of yourself and your world so you can wisely choose an intentional or productive direction for you in work, relationships and life.

A coaching session calls a lot of things into perspective, whether you want to hear it or not. You gain clarity to see things with greater understanding. This lets you more clearly see your own goals, directions and personal expectations and learn how to align them to who you are and to what is possible.

Many times, you may enter a coaching relationship with a particular outcome or goal in mind, but through greater clarity, you realize the goal was more for others than for you. Does that sound familiar?

Keep in mind that coaching is not mentoring. Mentors give suggestions and advice. They accelerate learning in particular areas. Coaching, instead, guides you to see what is, solve your challenges and learn to identify, accept and work with what cannot be changed. You decide what success is and what it looks like for you. You, with guidance, consider your options to achieve your goals, then choose and act. Your coach is your clarity and accountability partner, helping you stay focused, clear and true to the goals you’ve defined for yourself.

Through coaching, you see, define and develop realistic, practical and achievable outcomes. That is being your life’s owner. That is being intentional in your decisions because you are clear about what is possible.

As poet e.e. cummings says, “It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are.”

Courage and clarity through some assistance and guidance. That is how a coach can help you grow up to be who you really are.

Take Action
It’s up to you how you want your coaching relationship to look, what goals you want to be accountable for, and how you define and strive to reach those goals. Contact us to schedule a free 15-minute introductory conversation to see if coaching, and our style of coaching, is the right fit for you.

By Kristin Allaben

Consider reading Bad Days Don’t Have to be Bad

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What Mask Are You Wearing Today?

By Jay Forte, Coach, Author, Educator

We all wear a mask. We hide our true selves from others, something that is highly encouraged during Halloween when people dress up to be someone they’re not.

During every other day, the mask we wear is frequently inspired by our committee – the little voice inside your head that tells you someone won’t like you for any number of reasons. And, as is only natural for human beings, we look to protect ourselves from rejection, so we wear a mask to hide and downplay the things that are true about each of us, that we think won’t be accepted or appreciated by others.

One thing I’ve learned in my years on the planet is those who have happy, successful and amazing lives are first and foremost entirely true to who they are. This is because being true creates its own happiness. It frees you to use your full strengths and talents without reservation and, conveniently, this inspires success because these strengths and talents are both your competitive advantage and greatest abilities.

Those who are true to who they are can lead with what they are best at. They do what moves them and what interests them. They feel capable, inspired and energized. Just a taste of this can encourage almost anyone to toss the mask into the trash.

See, the more you wear your mask, the less of yourself you allow to come out. You stay hidden and blocked. You miss out on the life you could have and the one that fits you better.

For many years, I lived my life according to the way those around me thought I should. They told me what to believe, where to work, what to drive, who to love, how to live… Sometimes it came through as directive. Sometimes it was just assumed that you would fall into line the way your siblings and friends did. Go to college – we all do it. Work for a company – we all do it. Get married and have kids – we all do. Go to church – we all do it. That is, until you determine for yourself what is for you. It might be some of these, all of these or none of these. You choose.

Is it safer to wear a mask and pretend to fit in? Sure. But you weren’t born to blend. You were born to stand out, to be who we truly are, live your greatest abilities and make your unique difference. Only you can know what this is; others don’t and can’t until you let them in on it. So if you follow their guidance, especially if you know it to be contrary to who you are and what you feel, you sacrifice your ability to be the greatest version of yourself. You shortchange yourself and you shortchange the world from the thing or things you could do to make a better life for you and a greater world for all of us.

E.E. Cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

So ditch the mask. Let the better, more amazing, truer and wiser you emerge.

Important Questions from a Coach

  1. What mask do you wear and why?
  2. What is the one place or time in your life where you know you can take the mask off?
  3. What will help you develop the courage to live who you really are and not be so worried about what others think and feel about you?
  4. What would it take for you to see past the mask to see your real greatness?

You are you and you are born just right. Stand proud. Discover, develop and live your true self. Find and use your true voice. Support others to do this same work.


Consider reading Embrace Your Face.

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