How to Help Your Kids Decide What to do After High School

Asking a 16, 17 or 18-year old about what they want to do for the rest of their lives can be daunting, especially now. Our world is unpredictable and, lately, pretty volatile. It’s hard to plan for something next week, never mind next year.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be asking our high school students – and even our college students – about what comes next. It all just depends on how you’re asking the questions.

Consider these four tips to learn how to ask productive questions of your high school student(s) to encourage self-discovery and a greater conversation about what comes after high school.

First, ask questions that help them focus on what they are good at and what they like. Questions like “What do you want to do with your life” are unproductive. These are too large and focus more on the end. Most people, regardless of their age or where they are in life, would probably answer “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” because this type of question can feel overwhelming. More productive questions include:

  • What is something you really love to do?
  • When you are the happiest, what are you doing that makes you feel so happy?
  • Tell me about something you’re really good at, something that comes naturally to you.

All of these questions set up the conversation to explore what they could do with their lives, but it starts by putting them in a comfort zone: asking them questions they know the answers to.

Second, build on that self-awareness by digging deeper. Ask for examples of when they feel successful. Ask about what impact or contribution they want to make. Ask about what gets their attention for careers and why. Ask about the things that matter to them and what careers could lend themselves to making the things that matter the priority. Encourage them to dig deeper into who they are, what matters to them and how they could see themselves. Despite being the parents or caregivers, you may find yourself discovering new things about your kids that you may have overlooked in the busy day-to-day of life.

Third, be prepared to explore a variety of options. This is the time of explorations, not solutions (those will come). Many teens have limited views of what is possible because what they think is often based on what their friends or family say. Help them see greater options to expand what they consider. Having a greater number of options can improve the selection of one that is truly meaningful. Options could include trade school, a 2-year institution a 4-year institution, a gap year, or going right to work. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, so be flexible and encourage your kid to find the right fit for them, based on where their natural talents and passions lay.

And finally, be supportive. Regardless of what your kid(s) may want to further explore or what talent they want to expand on, it is their life they are building, not yours. Remember that your role as the parent and caregiver is to guide from the side, not be the sage on the stage. Guide and support, don’t direct and tell. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, you’ll find you are much more comfortable gently nudging your kids back onto their path as opposed to paving the way for them.

The conversation about what comes after high school (or college) shouldn’t be about what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. The conversation should focus on what you know of yourself and how that self fits in to today’s world. This takes guidance, patience and regular conversations to create greater self-awareness and self-discovery, two pieces of getting to know and understand the real you. Once you have this insight into yourself, when you learn how to tune out the world and all its demands, you will feel empowered to make better and more intentional decisions that fit you.

After all, like Buckminster Fuller once said, “What is it on this planet that needs doing that I know how to do that won’t get done if I don’t do it?”

Take Action
Start today. Pay attention to how you are helping your high school or college students prepare to make good life choices. Ask a lot of questions. Be available to discuss their responses. Be open and remind yourself that they are living their lives, not yours. Help them discover who they are so they can live it wisely and intentionally.

By Kristin Allaben

Consider reading How to Help College Grads Succeed in Your Organization

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2018 is around the corner. What Will You Do To Make Your Year Amazing?

By Jay Forte, Coach, Author, Educator

What do you want to achieve in 2018? What new things will the New Year bring?

The greatest benefit to being a coach is that I’ve learned to ask questions that help create work and life clarity for myself and for others. So as a new year approaches, consider asking yourself these questions to define your goals and make the most out of the New Year.

  1. What am I good at and passionate about?
  2. What places in work and life need what I do and like best?
  3. Presume it is at the end of 2018 and you are reflecting back, thinking how amazing 2018 was. What happened during the year to make you think this?
  4. If you could have just one thing come true for you in 2018, what would it be? What is your first step to working toward achieve it?
  5. What would it take for you to focus more intentionally on living and working at your potential?

Notice that the questions have two purposes. The first is to get you to stop, notice and consider what you want. The second is to get you thinking of how you might start to achieve it. Most of us don’t take the time or make the effort to clearly define a meaningful goal or direction, so our lives roll on, year to year, without us making the progress on what we want or effectively tapping into our potential.

So, as a new year approaches, get good at making time to ask yourself the meaningful questions – the ones that give you direction, inspiration and energy – to define what you want and give you the courage to go get it.

Over the next few months, I’ll share techniques and information I use with my coaching clients, including guidance that helps them define what they want and how to make progress on achieving it. This information will help you grow into the best version of yourself in the New Year.

Whether you’re looking for a change in work or life, my approach to coaching provides you with unique insights to help you make wise work and life choices to start your year off right.

So think about what you want in the New Year and what you need to do to make it happen. Check back here for guidance and insights to help you visualize what you want and develop a plan to achieve it.

New Year, New You. It is up to you to make it happen.

 

Consider reading Setting A Course for A Successful 2018

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