Little Moments of Remarkable

Face it. Our world can seem pretty mean and nasty. We can quickly get disillusioned about others, our world and life if we allow ourselves to only focus on what’s wrong, what’s unfair, what’s not going our way. But with some intention, we can train ourselves to focus on the good and the amazing, the little moments of remarkable that are always around us and ready to help us see the joy in life.

Challenge yourself to Stop and Notice

  • the colors and textures in a flower or a leaf. Notice the artwork in its creation. Notice if it’s large  or small, what colors it exudes (the brilliant reds, the screaming oranges, the soft whites, the gold and yellows, the cool greens). Every speck, every line and the variety of edges are works of art. Remarkable.
  • your child. Notice the color of their eyes, the wave of their hair and that their hands look like yours or your spouses. Notice the freckles, the laugh, the expressions, the walk. A human work in process. Remarkable.
  • the food at a grocery store. Notice the colors of the skins of the apples, pears, oranges, limes and lemons. Notice the shapes of the potatoes, onions and shallots. Notice the fragrance of the herbs and the strawberries. Notice the colors and shapes of dried beans, nuts and breads. Notice how much is available. Remarkable.
  • the sky and the constant changing show of light and dark, blue and black, clear and overcast. Notice the shape of a cloud and how it moves over you, casting a shadow as it goes. Notice the sunrise and the sunset, or the way the rays of the sunshine through a storm cloud. Notice the colors of an impromptu rainbow. Remarkable.
  • the sound of the rain as it hits a roof and how it splashes as it adds to a puddle. Notice the smell as a rain approaches and after it leaves. Notice the water that remains on the leaves of plants and the patterns it creates. Remarkable.

Your world, our world, is filled with little moments of remarkable. What is required is the intention and ability to notice. We can move past them, as many of us do, or we can interrupt our mindless approach to our lives and take the time to notice. These moments of remarkable are there for us to stay calm and happy – to bring joy to each of our moments, regardless of what the world sends.

Take Action
When you feel yourself getting irritated, frustrated or aggravated about something, remind yourself to stop and notice a little moment of remarkable. Just one. Focus on something right in front of you and really notice all of what makes it remarkable. This is how to shift your attention to the great and amazing things of life and away from only seeing the negative.

By Jay Forte

Consider reading The Value of Setbacks

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Catch and Release

By Jay Forte, Coach, Author, Educator

You smile and nod as your manager critiques a report you completed. You shrug as your teen calls you unfair for limiting internet time on a weekend. You tell yourself it’s no big deal when your friends are invited to a party but there was no invitation for you. You take it all in stride, but you know the frustration is building. Then, suddenly, you blow up over something crazy, like your favorite show has been pre-empted by a special news show. You lose it, crying, swearing and complaining that life isn’t fair.

How – and why – does something so small create such a large reaction?

You, like most of us, catch and keep disappointments and frustrations rather than catching and releasing them. When you keep them, they build up until you reach a breaking point.

Rather than accepting the “straw that broke the camel’s back” mentality and acknowledging that a break down will happen at some point, what if you deal with whatever life throws at you, learn from it, and let it go, rather than catching and keeping it? By doing this, there is little or no build up. There is no reason to go into meltdown.

It does, however, require awareness and it takes practice.

Learn from life

One of the wisest things I learned in all my years is to use everything life sends me as a lesson. What did I do well that I should do again? What didn’t work that I should learn from to make my next moment better?

Using this approach, I can better manage my reaction to life’s events, particularly the frustrations and disappointments. I can deal with it, learn from it and move on.

Life isn’t personal

I remember one time when I was a kid I got a particularly bad haircut (or that is how I remember it). Threatening to lock myself in my room until my hair grew back, my mother calmly asked, “What makes you think anyone is looking at you anyway?” Her point was to not take things so personally. When it rains on the day of your planned barbecue, it isn’t personal – it’s just the weather. When you get sick on the day of your big presentation, it’s not personal – it’s just life.

When we let go of the negative emotions that we add to life’s frustrations, we can see them as the little events they are. This gives us more emotional room to decide what to do next, to catch the wisdom of the moment and release the negative energy so the rest of the day isn’t affected.

Important Questions from a Coach:

  1. What are you holding on to that you should release?
  2. How can you focus on learning from your frustrations and disappointments as they happen?
  3. What will it be like to be around you as you better manage your disappointments and frustrations?

Catch, learn and release. Gather information, learn from it and let it go. This makes room for the next round of successes, challenges and frustrations that will happen because that is just how life is.

Catch and release instead of catch and keep. Life will be so much better.

 

Need help getting to catch and release? Consider working with a professional coach.

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