Don’t Go Back to Normal. Instead, Focus on Becoming Better

Kristin Allaben
June 3, 2020
awareness, be better, COVID-19, New Normal

At this moment, so many people say they just want what they had – to get back to their “normal.”

I get it. We are creatures of habit. We like the normal, the routine, the comfortable.

But when we truly stop and notice, I think many people will realize they were not living healthy, being kind, respecting the planet or bringing their A-game to work. We were caught up in doing the same old, same old. We were getting by. We were in habit mode, just moving through life on autopilot.

But COVID-19 changed it all. The pandemic became our stop and notice moment; it forced us to reflect on how things were and challenged us to do things we never thought we could (or would have to). For example, you never thought you’d teach your kids at home and now you do. You never thought you could work remotely and now you do. You never thought you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere, anytime and now you can’t. You never thought you would be able to be at home for a week without going out, and you did.

So much has changed.

So why rush back to your old ways when you see you are capable of new – and better?

I’ve shared the rule my father had for my 5 siblings and me when we were younger, and it applies here: constantly ask yourself as you are faced with the things going on in your moment, “What could I do to make this better?”

COVID-19 gave us an amazing opportunity to reset, to step to the side, view our work and lives and give us time to decide what to do next.

You can be upset at this interruption and the changes in your life, or you can refocus your energy and use this unique moment to take inventory of what worked and didn’t work in your old version of normal. Then, with greater clarity, commit to creating a new “normal” that builds on what worked before and eliminates or moves past the things that did not work.

Focus on making things better. Better relationships. Better work. Better at home. Better health. Better finances. Better hobbies. Better planet. Better neighbor. Better habits.

The thing I have learned most about COVID-19 is that we are stronger and more capable of handling change than we think. When push comes to shove, we can do it. When no pushing and no shoving occurs, we don’t do it. Spend a moment with that. Why is it we respond only when we are backed into a corner?

We have had a tough moment. And it won’t be our last one. But no moment in time is ever wasted. Each moment has a lesson for us if we choose to see it and use it.

Don’t waste this one.

Take Action
Don’t be in a rush to return to normal. “Normal” may have had a lot of things you didn’t like about your work and life.

Don’t be in a rush to get back to comfortable. Comfortable didn’t help you build and achieve goals.

Don’t go back. Go forward. Commit to reinventing a better normal, one that uses your abilities more, treats others more kindly, respects the planet like the sacred place it is, shares more generously, responds more quickly and acts more intentionally.

Don’t let people push you back into normal. Hold out for better. Push for better. Insist on better.

By Jay Forte

Consider reading How to Move Forward When You Don’t Know Where you are Going

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Corporate

Workplace Lessons Learned from COVID-19

Kristin Allaben
May 21, 2020
COVID-19, employee engagement, Managers, New Normal, What’s Working

COVID-19 caught many organizations by surprise. Yet despite being caught unaware, many rallied. They quickly gathered information, confirmed their goals (for their people, customers and the business) and shifted to a path to catch their breath and move forward.

But there were many that weren’t ready. The situation showed the gaping holes organizations have that caused stress, financial hardship and a variety of other challenges.

Life sends obstacles and challenges. We can be disappointed, aggravated or frustrated by them, or we can realize that it is in these obstacles and challenges that we do our best learning, discover our true strengths and learn to be resilient in a changing world. We can look at the stresses, challenges and financial hardships of the moment and redirect our energy to understanding them and using them to move forward. Spending time lamenting, complaining or feeling victimized by something you had no control over is a waste of the energy needed to rethink and respond to a new path forward.

So, what workplace lessons did you learn from your bout with COVID-19? Here are the four major ones I noticed in my conversations with clients.

You are more flexible than you realized. Even in the chaos, when things got tough, most organizations quickly rallied and got their people home safely, made equipment available and kept their businesses running. You have it in you to respond when things are urgent. You will need that flexibility and adaptability as you consider how to move forward. Notice that you have it and can call on it, despite the external forces that may make things confusing and frustrating. Trust your gut.
You identified your future leaders as well as those who don’t belong on your team. When you responded to the crisis, some of your people stepped up and did remarkable things. Some acted this way without asking. They say it is in a time of crisis that people show their true colors. Start a list of those who inspired you and impressed you in their response. Watch for those who brought their best ideas, who had a sense of urgency, were selfless and committed to the welfare of employees and stakeholders. At the same time, start a list of those who disappointed you. Who complained instead of responded (in leadership as well as in the ranks)? Who showed up with excuses instead of ideas, were slow to respond or were more focused on themselves at the expense of the team, their peers or others? When the dust settles, you’ll have a clear understanding of who belongs and doesn’t belong on your team. (Remember that we are also at a near 20% unemployment rate so don’t be worried about finding more A-level talent for your team – they are out there.)
What works and doesn’t work about your leadership style became apparent. As I mentioned, the real you shows up in a crisis. What did your response tell you about your abilities as a leader? Did you show compassion and empathy as you ensured the safety and life needs of your employees and stakeholders? Or did you focus on the bottom line at the expense of your people? Will your employees choose to stay after the pandemic based on how you led during it? Take an inventory of your success attributes and those attributes that were unproductive or ineffective in your ability to engage and retain your team. What will you do more of and what will you look to improve on in the next version of your organization post-COVID-19?
You now know some things that should and shouldn’t be in your next version of your business. As with your review of leadership, review all areas of your business for what works and doesn’t work. Don’t be in a rush to return to a normal that had many things in it that didn’t work. You have been given a reset. Take advantage of it to redefine and rebuild the areas of the business that were not up to par. This is the moment to brainstorm your new normal, to be a shaper of what you do and how you do it. Do a full 360-degree walk around your business, noting in each area what should continue in your new normal and what should be left behind.

Which of these lessons resonate with you? What else would you add to your list of great lessons learned?

COVID-19, as difficult as it has been, has a true silver lining. It created the time and space to review your organization to better understand – and see – the things that work or don’t work. It is providing the time and space to rethink where you could/should/need to be that may not look at all like where you have been. It is time to create a survive response (to get through the rest of the pandemic) and a thrive response (your plan-ahead team to steer you to the better versions of you post COVID-19).

Take Action
Rarely do we get a global reset. And we will hopefully not get it ever again. But since it is here, use what you learned in this moment of history to make yourself better.

Use this as a learning experience to get everyone in your organization involved, as well. Have all of your employees look at every aspect of your old way of doing things and ask the question, what could make this better?

Then engage them to build a plan and start to achieve it.

By Jay Forte

Consider reading How to Get the People Thing Right For Your Business

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Life

Rebuilding a New Normal from the Ground Up: For Families

Kristin Allaben
May 20, 2020
COVID-19, New Normal, parenting, Quarantine, Ready for Recovery, What’s Next, worry

I was talking to my Mom on Mother’s Day and, like our usual conversations, we talked about everything. The weather. Our jobs. What we’re making for dinner. What we’re doing to try to stay healthy and in shape during quarantine. What movies we’ve seen or TV shows that are worthy of a binge watch. And, of course, what my kids are up to that day.

After sharing some of the most recent funny and outrageous stories parents of young kids can relate to, she mentioned she’s eagerly awaiting the day when we can all get together again, hopefully before cold and flu season picks up.

Honestly, I don’t remember much of the rest of the conversation. I got stuck on “cold and flu season.” The hair on the back of my neck stood up and my stomach dropped when she said that phrase. I felt myself getting anxious. I started creating scenarios in my head, asking myself a lot of the anxiety-driven unproductive “what if” questions:

What if everyone gets sick when the kids go back to school in the fall?
What if COVID-19-related hospitalizations spike again when everyone’s back in the same crowded spaces together?
What if we have to go back into quarantine?
What if my husband’s job isn’t so understanding about a split workday as we divide childcare so we both have time to work?
What if there really aren’t enough hours in the day to work, take care of the kids, maintain the house, maintain our health, maintain some semblance of normalcy? What will suffer? What will I have to sacrifice? What will my family have to sacrifice?

I felt myself getting nervous. Anxious. Scared. Things I do when I let my mind take over and don’t manage the flow of negative news always coming our way.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself those were all unproductive emotions. I didn’t judge the emotions or berate myself for feeling them. Quite the opposite: I acknowledged them. This is important because these feelings, when left unchecked, can inspire (unproductive) actions. The best way to diffuse emotions is to acknowledge them. By recognizing what I was feeling – and understanding why – I remembered that nothing comes from being worried or anxious about the what ifs.

Reality check: I know I’m not the only parent right now worrying about the what ifs. In fact, there have been countless articles talking about the psychological impact on people as a result of the COVID-19 quarantine (read: no one is sleeping, or at least not well).

But operating in a constant state of worry and anxiety is unproductive and unhealthy. And as the world slowly starts to reopen and we’re challenged to create a new normal, you will have to be present enough (not in a worry or anxious state) to wisely review and consider options for a new normal for you and your family.

Here are my suggestions to start navigating the new normal as a family:

Start with a family meeting. We talked about the value of having a family meeting (or whatever you want to call it) to get everyone on the same page, regardless of what external factors are in play. Ensure everyone in the family is heard, has input and is included in the plan. Get in the habit of reviewing and planning together every morning or every evening.
Talk about What’s Working and What’s Not. At the family meeting, talk about what is working and not working in the return to a new normal. No complaints, just the facts. Applaud the things that worked and encourage ways to continue them. For the things that didn’t work, identify why they didn’t work then brainstorm together to come up with ideas to try to make things better. This way all issues are dealt with and everyone has a voice, ownership and responsibility for their part. Keep reviewing this list every few weeks to see how things are improving. Watch how this improves a productive approach to communication among the entire family.
Play the Imagine Game. During the family meeting, ask everyone to imagine what life will be like when we go back to school. Challenge the family to think outside the traditional approach to the back to school season. For example, start by asking, what if you could never go back to the school building? Or, what if you had to learn in local small groups in our neighborhood? Or how could we make our remote learning sessions better/more productive? There are so many unknowns right now and we know that when we finally create the new normal, it will not look like what it used to be.
Commit to your one thing. Life has a funny way of challenging our greatest plans. Though your family’s efforts to define and commit to living their safe, healthy and happy new normal, life may have other plans. So consider committing to just one thing. What is one thing that you would like to have happen – as a family – regardless of what the future brings? Maybe it’s family game night or movie night. Maybe it’s having dinner together as a family every night (or at least on school nights). Maybe it’s committing to learning how to do something new together once a month. Regardless of what life shares that may further challenge our definition of normal, this is the one thing you can commit to doing together.
Ask questions. When we shift to the new normal, remember to check in with each other. It’s easy to fall into old ways if new habits aren’t practiced routinely. To keep relationships growing and productive, ask each other questions that encourage discussion, not just one-word or closed questions. For example, instead of “how was your day?” ask “what is one new thing you learned today?” or “what was your favorite part of the day?” Engaging each other keeps us sharing our thoughts. Feeling heard and involved is an important part of staying mentally healthy in changing times.

Take Action
Creating a new normal as a family doesn’t have to be a daunting task. This is your opportunity to create a new approach to how you want life as a family to be. Stop and notice what worked and didn’t work in the way things used to be. Do more of what worked, and replace what didn’t work with new ideas.

Imagine. Brainstorm. Create. It is yours to invent, so invent something better. Then work together to make it happen.

Define your new normal as a family.

By Kristin Allaben

Consider reading The Quarantine Diaries: Day ???

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Life

Three Steps to a Better Post-COVID-19 Workplace and Life

Kristin Allaben
May 17, 2020
awareness, COVID-19, New Normal, respond, rethink, review

Every year, my big Italian family would have a family meeting on January 1^st to discuss what happened during the previous year and what we wanted to achieve or do in our new year. My dad encouraged each of us to take inventory of what has been, imagine what we each wanted and then build a plan to achieve it.

I built on this approach and created the Review, Rethink and Respond process. What follows is guidance in how to Review what has happened, Rethink what you want to achieve and Respond by developing a plan to move forward in our COVID-19 world.

Review

Step out of the panic, anxiety and concern of the moment and calmly, rationally and intentionally look at your situation. Notice the details. Gather information, don’t judge them. I find the best way to do this is to start with a blank page. Draw a line down the middle to create two columns. Title the left column, What Worked. Title the right column, What Didn’t Work. Create a page for each of the areas below for work and life. This will help you create a process to always get clear about what is so you can then imagine and build a future response.

As a leader or manager, review these workplace areas:

Your leadership approach.
How you handled moving employees to remote status.
How you handled / are handling layoffs and furloughs.
How you handled / are handling employee engagement in a crisis.
How your employees responded in and to this crisis.
How your employees supported / are supporting your customers in this crisis.
Other areas you and your team can think of

As a parent or guardian, review these life areas:

Your parenting approach.
How you handled / are handling working at home.
How you handled / are handling home schooling.
How you kept the family together, energized and safe in the crisis.
How your family responded to the crisis.
How your family (including extended and remote) supported each other in the crisis.
Other areas you and your family can think of.

When you take the time to create a summary of each of these areas, what does it tell you? What decisions and choices created things that worked? What decisions and choices create things that did not work? You now have clearer information about how you reacted or responded in the crisis. Every action shares information with you if you are open to seeing it and reviewing it, so you can use it to be wiser in imagining and directing how to move forward.

Rethink

This one may be tough because there is so much uncertainty about what “normal” even means. So much has been turned upside down from the way we used to do things that perhaps it is unreasonable to think that the old normal is possible, or even desired. We know that many things about work, home, our planet and other areas were not working well in our old normal. Could this create a moment to reset, to imagine something better?

Ask yourself: what could post-COVID-19 look like? Imagine what it could look like, what it could be like for you, your family, your colleagues. You don’t have to get this right. You just have to imagine in this direction and stay tuned in to how things are developing.

Imagine what these workplace areas COULD look like:

Your leadership approach.
How employees work and what the workplace is.
Which employees belong on your team and your plan to replace or add others.
How to keep everyone informed through improved or new forms of communication.
How to source, interview, hire and onboard new talent.
How to manage (guide, support, develop, meet, activate and coach) employees in whatever way work develops.
How to keep a sense of team identity and drive engagement in whatever way work develops.

Imagine what these home/life areas COULD look like:

Your parenting approach.
How work and school can share the same space.
How schooling and learning will be done.
How you and your kids will build / maintain social contacts.
How to create a nurturing and supportive environment to accommodate a world of change and a new normal (safe space).
How to keep family members safe, healthy and mentally well in changing times.

The quality of the answer in a period of extreme uncertainty isn’t as important as the commitment to start thinking and imagining the scenarios of what could be so you can take confident steps forward when the time is right.

The reason to create several possible scenarios is that too much is currently uncertain. Thinking about several approaches to what could be considered successful in a post-COVID-19 response enables you to not only respond quickly but to also, and perhaps most importantly, influence the direction of change.

Respond

You have noticed and assessed your current situation – what worked and what didn’t work.

You have started to imagine a broad direction of a path toward a new normal.

Next is preparing yourself by defining a plan and setting trigger points, the things that will trigger your action plan to get started.

In a mindful, intentional and logical way, define the trigger points so, when they happen, they serve as your indicators to implement or to act. This lets you focus on your current moment with full attention because you have thought about your options and are watching for when something requires action. For example, it could be defining for your family or workplace what moving back into public means (when it is approved by your state) and what precautions your workplace and family will follow to do it safely.

Ensure that everyone on your team or in your family is included in your response. Everyone should have a role and know their role to support the successful achievement of any response. This both engages everyone involved because they know they have a stake in the outcome, and it helps them stay more connected and vigilant in watching for the activation triggers.

Though our world can activate our feelings of anxiety, worry and fear, having the Review, Rethink and Respond process can help us more mindfully and calmly learn to look at our world, wisely assess our situation, creatively invent options and resiliently work on a plan. This can help us remain focused on not just surviving in a crisis but thriving to come out better on the other side.

By Jay Forte

Consider reading The Year to Get Clear

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